Pierre Woodman

“Lucky Pierre”

XXX director Pierre Woodman is rich, somewhat famous and may very well be the ultimate super-fucker.

Profile by Dan Kapelovitz

Pierre Woodman, the man behind popular porn series such as Superfuckers, Hustler XXX and Anal Intensive, is one lucky smutmonger. Not only has the auteur of ass-banging made millions of dollars and fucked thousands of women, but he has also, on a number of occasions, cheated death.

In his quest to produce the most beautifully filthy porn on the market, the baby-faced, 40-year-old Frenchman spans the globe, seeking exotic locations for his fuck flicks. With shots of soaring birds, magnificent landscapes and beautiful vegetation, many of Woodman’s films resemble National Geographic nature documentaries—until his camera reveals two musclebound dudes double-penetrating a barely legal babe.

Woodman’s quest for a beautiful location in Bali, however, nearly led to his demise. The XXX director was shooting a scene and noticed a couple of men masturbating to the proceedings. After busting their respective nuts, the men disappeared, and Woodman finished filming. When he went back to his hotel, Woodman was greeted by dozens of police officers, one of whom was one of the self-abusing looky-loos. The jackoff-cum-law enforcement officer put Woodman in handcuffs and whisked him to police headquarters, where the chief told Woodman that shooting pornographic films is forbidden in his country.

To further illustrate his point, the chief produced a newspaper clipping with a picture of a man whose decapitated head was sitting on a plate. “Two months ago, I take off his head because he do the same job like you,” he told Woodman. “You are next.”

At first, Woodman was too scared to even speak, but he soon gained his composure and informed his would-be executioner, “If you cut off my head, your life will not change. And me, I will lose my life. But if you help me, and we become friends, I will make you good money.” Woodman explained that he too was at one time a cop and understood that police are not paid well.

The gendarme asked Woodman how much money he could cough up. Woodman actually had a whopping $185,000 in his hotel room, but he told his accuser, “I can give you one thousand, maybe two thousand dollars. I don’t have much money in cash.”

The man demanded $10,000, adding, “You have two hours to bring it back to me, or I’ll kill you.” Woodman surprised the cop when he returned with the agreed-upon sum. Thinking that the officer might kill him anyway, Woodman told the man that he planned on coming back every three months to shoot more films, and that he would pay him each time. Ecstatic with this news, the cop not only let Woodman complete his movie, but lent him his men and equipment. Needless to say, Woodman never went back to Bali.

Some may argue that this wasn’t luck but rather shrewd thinking on Pierre’s part. That may be, except for the fact that this trouble with the authorities caused Pierre to miss his plane, which went down, killing all 466 passengers.

Most sane men would learn from such an experience. Not Woodman. Not long after, he traveled to Egypt, where he snuck into a forbidden zone on the back side of a pyramid in order to shoot footage. Again, Pierre was arrested. This time, when Woodman attempted to bribe the officer in charge, the cop became outraged and said that if Woodman spoke of giving him money again, he would spend the rest of his life in prison.

After spending a night in jail, Woodman went back to the very same area with a camcorder, bribed the guards and shot the rest of the material he wanted. “I’m crazy,” Woodman admits. “I’ve never seen this place in any book about Egypt, and I knew it was something unique that nobody will have on video.” Woodman may be lucky and crazy, but perhaps stupid better describes someone willing to risk his life for a few seconds of nature footage that some horny mook will most likely fast-forward through. Still, Woodman lives a life many men would sacrifice a testicle for. So how did a former French cop become an outlaw pornographer with a $5-million video contract?

It seems that Woodman’s entire life has led up to him becoming the ultimate sex maniac. His grandfather, who lived much of his life in China, taught the young Pierre many ancient Chinese sex secrets. When Woodman was seven, his grandfather instructed him to exercise his sex muscles every day. “He said to me, ‘Don’t try to know why, but every day at the school, you do 100 times like this [tightens his stomach muscles] with your abdomen. Later, you will see it will be fantastic for you when you have sex.’”

Even before he lost his virginity, Pierre earned the Woodman nickname. Oddly, his seemingly carnal pseudonym has nothing to do with sex. When Pierre was a child, he was such a master tree climber that the older children dubbed him Woodman, man of the woods. (It wasn’t until 1995, when Pierre came to a porn-awards ceremony in America and Jenna Jameson told him that his nom de XXX had sexual connotations in English, that he became aware of the double entendre.)

At the age of 19, Woodman became a cop in France but, through some friends he had made in Paris, he was able to shoot photography for mainstream magazines. He even shot Madonna (with a camera, alas). He quickly gave up his law-enforcement job to pursue the visual arts. Then in 1989, a French porn company asked Pierre to shoot some behind-the-scenes material. In 1992, Pierre shot his first XXX layout, and the next year, he lensed his first full-length porn flick.

At an awards ceremony, Pierre met his childhood hero, Larry Flynt, who told the filmmaker that he liked his work. A few years later, Flynt offered Woodman the chance to work for then-emerging Hustler Video and offered him an unprecedented contract.

Die-hard perverts might quibble that all of the money in the world is meaningless if you are not also scoring tons of poontang. On that count, Pierre is also very fortunate. In September 2003, Pierre fucked his 3,000th girl (yes, he keeps notes). When asked how many of these women he has fucked in the ass, he replies, “All of them.”

Still, the mastermind behind Anal Intensive maintains that he’s not obsessed with invading the ass. He doesn’t even necessarily prefer the anus to the vagina: “If a girl has a big pussy, of course, I prefer to fuck her in the ass, because I don’t have the dick for her pussy—I have the normal sex [organ] and not the elephant. But if a girl has a tight pussy, like my girlfriend now, it’s the same.” Woodman’s speciality isn’t so much fucking, but rather convincing girls to fuck. In fact, his latest video line, Hustler Casting Couch X, is all about Woodman’s persuasive techniques. Woodman prides himself on getting women who have never appeared in porn to star in his films.

Instead of going through a XXX modeling agency, as many porn directors do, Pierre has his own team of talent scouts who travel the globe, looking for fresh meat. After they’ve gathered approximately a dozen girls, Pierre interviews them.

Many of the women, including current porn queen Yasmyne, the highlight of Hustler Casting Couch X’s first installment, think they are applying to be mainstream fashion models.

In Yasmyne’s case, Pierre interviews the Hungarian actress in a room somewhere in Budapest. He hands the girl a porn magazine and explains that he wants her to do nude modeling. On the tape, the then-18 year-old, self-proclaimed virgin is visibly uncomfortable and says she has to leave. She does, but not before Woodman convinces the raven-haired naïf to pose for him in her bra and panties.

Two months later, Yasmyne returns. After much persuasion, Woodman eventually finger-bangs her, eats her out, fucks her in the pussy and ass, and comes in her mouth.

Only after the dirty deed is done does Woodman ask his future starlets to sign a model release. Lamentably, many girls refuse, and Woodman has tons of sex tapes he can never offer to the world. Woodman says he will spend months, sometimes years, trying to get inside a girl’s pants. If cold, hard cash doesn’t work, Woodman uses psychology. For instance, if a girl doesn’t want to do porn based on her religious convictions, Woodman will first go about proving to her that God doesn’t exist. Once this goal is accomplished, he can convince the girl to fuck him. “I like it so much,” he says. “It’s a challenge.”

Although this sounds counterintuitive, Woodman claims that the dumber the girl is, the harder it is to convince her to fuck him. A stupid girl’s mind is more difficult to penetrate—plus, she can’t follow his logical arguments.

Presumably, Yasmyne was one of the smart ones. As evidenced in Hustler Casting Couch X #1, when she protests that she is a virgin, Woodman gets her to admit that she had been with women before. “Then you’re not a virgin,” the crafty horndog counters. He also argues that if she waits until marriage to have sex, she may live the rest of her life fucking a man who is not a good lover. He encourages her to rebel against her parents, and, of course, tells her that she can become a big star and make tons of money. At one point, he even pulls down his pants and says, “My penis is small, look.” While it’s unclear which argument won her over, Yasmyne not only had sex with Woodman, but went on to star in such films as Brazilian Snake, Superfuckers and Hustler XXX #20.

One girl whom Woodman has yet to win over is Hollywood actress Denise Richards (Wild Things, Scary Movie 3). In fact, she won’t even be in the same scene with him. Woodman was set to act with Richards in a mainstream film in which he plays—what else?—a pornographer. He was even supposed to do a simulated doggy-style sex scene with Richards, but when she found out that she was supposed to performwith a real pornographer and not just an actor playing a pornographer, she balked. The producers were forced to find a Woodman lookalike for some of his scenes.

Maybe someday Pierre will be able to persuade the Starship Troopers sex kitten to star in a future installment of Anal Intensive. Or maybe Richards is just too dumb.

 

(This article first appeared in the February 2004 issue of Hustler Magazine)

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